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Memphis Bleek - 534

Now, believe it or not, but, unlike everyone I respect, I've actually always liked Memphis Bleek. I've never liked a song, album, or even bought one, for that matter, but I do find his flow to be consistent and without gaps in the delivery (MC Eiht) or excessive in wordiness (Common).

But, on the flipside, I have been quite perturbed, if not enraged, by his choice of hat angle and his refusal to not wear a doorag. With those two warring opinions alive and kicking, I anticipate a fair and balanced review. Let's get started...

The title of this song (and album), I assume, is pertaining to an awesome roll of the dice in the corner game, C-Lo. This is clearly Memph's acknowledgement that putting together a good album is quite a gamble for him. I wish him all the best. [pressing play...]

Wowsers...good roll, Sir Tennesee. With Just Blaze on the track, it's hard to go wrong. As a matter of fact, I kinda wish I was Just Blaze. Whatta talented Jackson.

Note: Bleek discusses how none of his friends do the dishes when they come over to smoke all his Marley. How realistic.

Whoa! An interlude? On track 2? Why? That last song was simply mild fire, so why the cool down period? [pressing play...]

WTF? Is this the Beach Boys? Joanie Mitchell? This is not gangsta. Take this out of your playlist.

Dear Summer - ft. Jay-Z

Shit yea, the J-word Man is guesting on this joyoint. I hope Memph doesn't bother rapping. And I'm sure Hov wouldn't stop ordering people around for anything but a hot fire beat, so this should be fun.

Hells yea! Another Just Blaze track cracking right chea'. This song consists of Jigga Man bragging as usual, which is especially hot considering that this is Bleeks album. Also, Im at the 2:45 mark and Mr.Hat-2-tha-back hasn't even said a word. Wait, its over. No Memphis, not even a whimper. Hotness! The whole album should follow this formula.

Note: This song officially replaces T.R.O.Y. (They Reminicse Over You) by Pete Rock & CL Smooth.

Like That
This song is more what Memphis does best...put out stupid songs with stupid titles. This one is produced by Swizz Beats (gay name). Memph resorts to his comfortable topic of rolling through the hood with some beyotch riding shotgun.

Infatuated - ft. Boxie
I smell a love jam coming on. But maybe not though, because Ive been tricked before. Hopefully Bleek will be doing some clever personification-action where he tricks us into thinking that he is soft enough to chill with chicks. But, then at the end we find out that Memphy was talking about his 17 shot street sweeper the whole time. Nas does it all the time.

Well, uh..err...shit! Memphis Bleek is a sucka...this beat is as soft as kitty fur. But wait, maybe this is part of the ploy. Kinda like the movie 6th Sense. Maybe he is reeling us in just to maximize his gangsterness.

Damn, MB just mentioned something about a dime piece riding on the passenger side. Forget it ya'll. This song is about down-ass-chicks. This should be the anthem for Sissyville, USA.

Note: According to the hook, Memphis wants to hook up with this chick later and keep it gangsta. What??? You want to do both at once? How? You gonna kick a car at the drive-in theater? Throw your cheescake across the restaurant? Basically, the hook of this song is filled with lies. The only gangsta-like possibility is that Memph treats his chicks like punching bags.

One - ft. Rihanna
Hmm, now if you asked me to guess what this song is about, based on the title, I would have to assume it is referring to Memph Man's only babe. The one with her own special auto seat that never has it's settings altered. You know, upright with the posture and close to the dash. [pressing play...]

Those S.A.T. folks were soooo wrong about me. I'm a jeanius. This song is for closet cases. Bleek's carpool chick, Gonnerihanna(whoever that is) is on the hook. Actually, I don't know what the difference is between this song and Sunshine Anderson's jam, I've heard it all before, which is mad ironic, cuz honestly, I swear I've heard this all before.

First, Last and Only - ft. M.O.P.
Now, Im expecting this song to be awesome. 2 parts mayhem and 1 part romantic. For those that don't know, MOP is a duo of WWF proportions. As 2 of the gulliest (ugliest) cats in the rap game, MOP has never, ever, eva eva eva eva eva put out a Wham track, so Im expecting a car crash here, hopefully with Bleek posing as a pedestrian.

Hmm, well this beat is kinda hot, but definitely a fender bender by MOP standards...but shit yall, I cant front....Im rocking out right now. Shit yea, the MOP tag team action (no homo) is in full effect on this one. Somebody, get these cats a platinum plaque or at least a music video. This would be all the way bitchin, if only they had employed Jay Z's formula from track 3: No Bleek = Mucho Testosterone.

Get Low - ft. Livin' Proof
Get Low? How gay. I don't get low for nobody. Believe that!

Whoa...Memph's first line was, "I got my fitted [hat] on lean." LOL...awesome. This beat is mad retro. Like on some Chuck D shit. All drums. Its relatively enjoyable, but you don't need to listen to it more than once.

Proof, for those that don't know, is one of eminem's justifiers, from D12. The difference between him and the rest of those cotton pickers is that Proof actually has skills. Although he doesn't show it on here, Ive heard Proof rip a couple of bars. And the dude is pretty sick with the beats as well.

Oh Baby - ft. Young Gunz
Goodness Gracious...if this is another Bonnie and Clyde song, I might have to Nicole Brown Simpson +1 these love birds. Maybe it's about guns, tho. Nas does it all the time.

Well, I didn't notice that the Young Gunz were on this song, so it's worse than I thought. Im going to assume that they bought this stupid ass beat with the hook included, because if they didn't, these 3 dudes sweet talk each other.

Smoke the Pain Away - ft. Denim
Uh oh...I think Bleek is depressed. All these chick issues have to be difficult after a while. Maybe the weed will cut out the poetry he's been spitting for the last 9 tracks. But unlikely, because from what I hear, Memph's lifestyle came at birth and is not a choice.

Apparently, some chick named Denim rode to the studio in Memph's car and sang on the hook. Bleek fills the track with talk about smoking a joint, but who's joint he's smoking is left unclear. This may be more Nas-esque personification about smoking a man's johnson.

Hater Free
Whoa...In the first line Memph says, "Im going back to the one leg up, and them ankle socks." Sounds like Bleek likes his guys flexible and athletic. Finally, Bleek has come clean with his orientation. The hook says, "All I can be, is me." I think we are all relieved.

Ok, now that we have all sorted out Bleek's cornfusion, I think we can get to the rest of the review. This beat is produced by 9th Wonder. This song is ok, by 9th's standards. I assume this one was discounted.

All About Me
Don't know what to say about this one. Just a regular song. Doesn't suck. Well, I should be fair. This is a decent song.

Straight Path
Straight path? Hmm...I guess I had Bleek's crotch choice all wrong.

Actually, this song is about Memph's brother getting shot in the head. I usually hate on shit like this, but for some reason I don't feel like it. Sounds genuine.

But this album, on the other hand, doesn't. Basically, I wouldn't buy it if I were you, but I wouldn't smack the DJ for playing it either. I guess, I'd say Bleek gambled and broke even.

3.5 out of 5

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